How Technology Turns Men and Women Against Each Other

Men and women don’t trust each other anymore. At least, it certainly seems that way when surfing the internet.

Feminist bubbles online continuously talk about “toxic masculinity” and say things like “men are trash”. Endless numbers of articles deride, criticise and demonise men, even throughout mainstream media outlets.

On the other hand, men are “red-pilled” or even “black-pilled”. They believe they know the truth about women. You can often see them saying things like “women only want the top 10% of men” and “never get married” Entirely new language has been created inside online incel and black-pill bubbles like “Chad” and “Stacy”.

This kind of rhetoric has been outlawed by the mainstream media, so instead you can find it on message boards and through memes.

Sure, relationships between men and women have never been perfect. But you have to ask yourself, what on earth happened over the last 10 years? Why have relationships between men and women become so terrible over such a short space of time?

The answer is simple: technology.

In particular, 3 major technologies have appeared within the last 10 years or so, that have fundamentally changed dating:

1. Online Dating

2. Filter Bubbles

3. High-Speed Pornography & a Society Saturated With Soft Porn

As has happened throughout history, technology has radically changed our societies, our minds and our lives. Men blame women. Women blame men. And neither point the finger of blame in the right direction: at technology.

Technology has always been the most influential force in changing our societies, far more than culture, politics or power. It’s technology that has always created the most radical changes in our lives, and it’s continuing to do so at an increasing rate.

1. Online Dating

Once upon a time, a peaceful African tribe had a tradition that was passed through the centuries. The tribespeople believed that it was necessary to start a new fire in the fireplace during after each act of sexual intercourse.

The custom meant that each act of intercourse was a rather public event, since after sex happened, someone had to go to a neighbouring hut to bring back a burning stick in order to start a new fire. With this tradition in-place, it was incredibly difficult for adultery to take place. Presumably, this is why this particular tradition was created in the first place.

For centuries, this tradition was passed down through the ages. Then, suddenly, a new technology was introduced into the society: matches.

With the introduction of matches, it became possible to light a fire without going to a neighbouring hut. In the blink of an eye, a long-standing tradition was destroyed. Adultery was far easier to get away with, which likely led to a less stable society with more conflict and violence.

In the 21st century we have been suddenly introduced to our own new technology: Online Dating. In a strange twist of fate, the most predominant of these platforms is named Tinder (referring to the material needed to start a fire).

Now let’s take our own modern societies. What effects do you think may have occurred in our lives due to the introduction of online dating technologies like Tinder? The following are some important changes that online dating technology has made to our romantic lives.

Cheating is easier than it’s ever been

Nowadays, cheating on your partner, and not getting caught is child’s play. In the past, you may have had to go out to a bar or club meet to someone new. Doing so would require you to invent stories to your spouse to explain why you had been out until 3am on a Friday night.

Today, meeting someone new is as simple as finding 10 minutes in the day to swipe right on your smartphone screen a few times. You could be sending messages on Tinder while sitting across from your partner at the dinner table, and they would have no idea. Even the sight of your partner glancing at their smartphone and smiling might be enough to arouse suspicion.

For couples in long-term relationships, cheating has likely become far more tempting with the advent of online dating. All of the most attractive options within a 50km radius of ourselves are now available to us. This kind of exposure to new romantic partners has never been seen before in human history.

These attractive men or women have likely also used photo-retouching technology to increase their physical beauty beyond reality, making them further tempting still.

The introduction of online dating technologies to a society inevitably leads to increased infidelity, ruined relationships and distrust between the sexes.

The Uneven Playing Field

A 2019 Pewresearch survey found that 57% of men reported getting “not enough messages”, compared with only 24% of women. 30% of women reported getting “too many messages”, compared with just 6% of men.

This isn’t a level-playing field. Men far outnumber women across all online dating apps. The male:female ratio on Tinder is 9:1 and even “female friendly” dating app Bumble has a as a male:female ratio of 7:3.

Conversely, the real world has a roughly 1:1 male:female ratio, which means the online dating environment is inevitably going to be massively skewed compared to the real world. Men are left frustrated that they can’t find a partner, while women have to deal with a never-ending onslaught of messages, some of which turn abusive and hostile.

The simple fact is, for women, men on online dating apps are replaceable. If a date with one man doesn’t work out, she has an inbox full of messages she can choose from to pick her next date.

“I could have another you in a minute. Matter fact he’ll be here in a minute, baby” – Beyonce “Irreplaceable”

This imbalance confuses the expectations of both men and women. Men often begin to rate themselves as less attractive than reality, while women often begin to rate themselves more attractive than reality.

This leads to more desperate behaviour by men (needy messages, creepy behaviour etc), while it leads to more entitled behaviour by women (short replies, ghosting, acting superior etc).

In many cases, men and women take their new attitudes out into the real world. Some women begin to demand a highly attractive man, like the ones she spoke to on dating apps, not realising that she has inflated her own attractiveness based on her experience with dating apps.

“I can have another you by tomorrow. Don’t you ever for a second get to thinking you’re irreplaceable” – Beyonce “Irreplaceable”

Online dating apps create a strange environment where a woman, whether she realises it or not (and no matter her level of attractiveness) has a endless line of men ready to date her at any time available in her pocket. This simple fact now underlies all romantic interactions between men and women.

This effect is the most pronounced for men and women from ages 18-30, where women receive the most messages. As we begin to age, the online dating playing-field levels out somewhat.

Aesthetic Beauty Is More Important Than Ever

In this image-based environment, the importance of personality and character decrease, while the importance of aesthetic beauty increases. The most successful profiles, for both men and women, are people who have symmetrical faces, sexy bodies, good posing techniques and good fashion sense.

Men today often find themselves trying to get muscular bodies, learning how to pose for a camera, learning their most attractive angles, getting new hairstyles and trying on new clothes – all for the purpose of getting an edge in their online dating profiles.

Those who are, for whatever reason, less photogenic, find themselves struggling to meet a partner far more than they would in the real world. Today, much of our dating success is now dependent on our photography skills and how photogenic we are, rather than real desirable qualities like: humour, wit, generosity, kind-heartedness and so on.

In the online dating environment, those who are superficial and narcissistic are greatly rewarded, incentivising more and more people to adopt these traits.

It’s the online dating environment which has created the hopeless “blackpill” communities such as Looksmaxing and Incels.

2. Filter Bubbles

When you’re online – what you’ve clicked on before determines what you’ll see next.

Algorithms on social media (that were introduced in around 2010), personalise content towards you. If you click one Youtube video about feminism on Youtube, you’ll be suggested others for the rest of the week. If you click one Youtube video about men’s dating advice, you’ll soon be suggested countless others.

These algorithms take millions of users and sorts them into groups. They then use the data from other users similar to yourself to determine which is the absolute best piece of content to display to you next. Essentially, millions of people end up watching the exact same content as each other after being place into a group by algorithms.

This creates a filter bubble effect, where each of us is continually fed a select type of content, usually containing the same sets of views. This creates a large political split inside countries as left-wing and right-wing filter bubbles are created.

This also creates filter bubbles based on gender. When men search for “How to get a girlfriend” or “How to get laid quickly” into Youtube, the algorithms sort him into a male filter bubble. Conversely, when women search for “How to find a boyfriend” or “How to seduce a man” into Youtube, the algorithms sort her into a female filter bubble.

As you spend more time within your filter bubble, and as you click more and more content supplied to you by the algorithms, the content begins to get more and more extreme in order to keep you interested.

Just like those in totalitarian countries are indoctrinated into a certain set of beliefs with no exposure to alternate sets of beliefs, the same could be said of those inside filter bubbles.

The titles of content inside the male filter bubble might go something like this:

How to get a girlfriend —> 5 tricks that will make a girl fall in love —> Why women always choose bad boys —> Why you can’t trust what a woman says —> Taking the Redpill: The truth about women —> Why you should never get married —> Why you need to treat women like dogs.

Conversely, the female filter bubble may go something like this:

How to find a boyfriend —> 5 reasons you can’t find a good man —> Why men won’t commit —> Why most men aren’t worth your time —> Why are men are such good liars —> Why modern men are trash.

Bare in mind that this process takes approximately 1 to 2 years, depending on how much time the individual spends online.

There are elements of truth to the stories about men and women inside both bubbles. Both men and women have dark sides to them that the rabbit holes inside these filter bubbles reveal. The problem is, these filter bubbles overly focus on the negative truths about the two genders, while the positive truths are left unmentioned and disregarded.

This creates a huge online population of misogynists and misandrists. Those in both the male and female filter bubbles develop a deep mistrust of the opposite gender, believing themselves to have found truths to justify their mistrust.

Filter bubbles are their entirely own ecosystems, each containing their own ideologies. The male filter bubble focuses on evolutionary psychology; using evolutionary explanations to uncover the truths about the female subconscious brain. On the other hand, the female filter bubbles focuses on social aspects of psychology, often talking about how a male dominated “patriarchy” has “taught” men and women to behave in certain ways.

The male filter bubble focuses on nature. The female filter bubble focuses on nurture. Everybody’s become expert in understanding the psychology of the opposite gender, but each filter bubble only focuses on half of the overall story.

Those inside these filter bubbles have deep explanations inside their head as to why they can’t trust the opposite gender.

Since the invention of filter bubbles in 2010, they have quietly created a deep ideological divide between men and women (at least it has for those who spend a lot of time online).

3. High-speed Pornography & a society saturated with soft porn

In case you hadn’t noticed, we live in a world obsessed with sex. You will see sexual stimuli every single day, whether you seek it out or not. Social media, music videos, advertising and movies are all saturated with soft porn.

It may be hard for us to imagine, but in the past, media that was overly sexual was frowned upon. You could go an entire day without sex being so much as mentioned in passing.

Overprioritsation of sex

Men certainly spend more time thinking about sex today, than they would have done in the past, with an environment filled with nothing to look at other than fields and trees.

• A man will be browsing Instagram on his lunchbreak, only to be confronted with an image of a “fitness” influencer posing seductively in tight yoga pants.

• A man will be working hard on a work project, only for his phone to light up with a new Tinder match.

• A man will be flicking through television channels, only to come across a music video of 4 women, lined up, scantily clothed and dancing seductively for the camera.

• A man will be walking down the street, only to see a huge billboard for a beer commercial of a woman with huge tits, holding two pints of beer.

For men today, these situations are so commonplace that they’re barely worth mentioning. A fish doesn’t realise that it’s wet. And we don’t realise that our modern environment is filled with soft porn.

Without a doubt, this environment causes a lot of men to spend a lot of time focusing on how women can sexually satisfy them, rather than how they can enter a relationship with a woman.

On top of this, men have had access to high-speed pornography since around 2006. For the first time history, men have access to sexual experiences, at any time they choose, with minimal effort. To put it simply, today a 13 year old boy has likely seen more naked women than his ancestors would have seen in an entire lifetime.

Chasing The Fetish

Many men today are highly educated and interested in at least one or two obscure sexual fetishes that they were exposed to by high-speed pornography. It could be femdom, foot fetishes, hardcore domination, CNC (consensual non-consensual), girls in anime cosplay, cheating fetishes, “casting couch” scenes, public humiliation and an endless list of other obscure sexual fetishes that can be found on internet porn.

Some men spend their time chasing the fetish, rather chasing any particular woman. This causes them use women as a means to and end in order to bring the fantasy they saw in porn into reality (It’s well known that a major reason men turn to prostitution is to satisfy a sexual fantasy they were exposed to in online pornography).

Hyperfocus On Female Sexuality

Men who consume large amounts of pornography often become hyper-focused on women’s sexual attributes. They walk around all day in a kind of daze, gawping at the tits, legs and asses of the women around them.

A common report of men who quit porn is that they begin to spend more time admiring women who are “pretty” and “beautiful” rather than women who are “hot” and “sexy”. They begin noticing the sparkling eyes of the woman opposite them, rather than the placement and size of her curves.

The problem with this hyper-focus on sex, of course, is that causes the goals of men and women to be even more misaligned than they otherwise would be. Men have their minds filled with thoughts of sex, while women are often more focused on romance. This makes it harder for women to find a partner beyond a sex-focused one night stand.

When the world is hyper-focused on sex, novelty becomes king. At a certain level, men want the same level of novelty in the real world as they can get in high-speed pornography, causing them to constantly seek new partners (at least, for those men who are capable of doing so, those that can’t may begrudgingly stay with their partners, while secretly wishing they could enjoy a wider variety of women and sexual fetishes).

Unmotivated Men

Porn demotivates men to approach women in the real world. After being satisfied earlier that day by high-speed pornography, gathering the courage to approach that cute girl from across the room just doesn’t seem worth it.

Media replaces life. And men can semi-satisfy their sexual needs without involving real women at all. Today, women aren’t getting approach by men who otherwise would be, were it not for the existence of high-speed pornography.

Many of the “good men” women are waiting for are sitting at home watching pornography, rather than being out and available to meet.

Now there are plenty of other reasons why men and women may not be on the best of terms with each other: rape & sexual assault, unfair divorce courts and real-world sexism.

Yet, nothing else can explain the drastic decrease in trust and goodwill between men and women, over the last 10 years in particular, aside from these 3 new technologies being introduced to us.

People always underestimate the effects of new technologies on societies. It’s more comfortable, more natural and more familiar for us to blame other people rather than machines. Yet it’s often the case that the cause of our problems are the side-effects of technological advancement.