Why The Modern Dating Environment Is Fucked (And How You Can Succeed Inside Of It)

Many of us have felt it: that there’s something wrong with the way couples meet each other in the modern world.

Most of us can’t put our finger on exactly what is wrong, but we can feel that something just isn’t the way it should be.

Women complain about men. Men complain about women. Is this just naturally how men and women feel about each other, or….

Is it instead a result of our modern environment?

And if our modern dating environment is fucked, then how can we, as individuals succeed inside of it?

This is why the modern dating environment is fucked (And how you can succeed inside of it)

For millions of years, human beings lived in small tribes. These tribes generally consisted of roughly 30-150 people working together to survive in a harsh natural environment.

The men would travel long distances, hunt animals, and bring them back to the tribe. The women would forage for food and take care of the children. You spent your entire life alongside the same group of people and, aside from occasionally bumping into other tribes, strangers didn’t exist.

Let me repeat that: there were no strangers. Every single person in your day-to-day environment was someone you knew.

So how would romantic partners have found each other in the tribal environment?

Men and women would simply hook up with whoever they naturally felt was attractive — according to their bodily instincts. Our tribal environments had no restrictions, no laws and certainly no age limits; teenage boys and girls would have started having sex whenever they became attracted to one another.

Perhaps rape would take place within these tribes. However, if a man were to commit rape, the whole tribe would have quickly known about it, and he may have had to suffer the social consequences for his actions (perhaps the punishment of death, or perhaps nothing at all; we don’t have enough archeological evidence to know details like these).

The point is: you would know your partner extremely well before becoming romantic with them.

On the outside, you would see this person not only looking their very best, but also their absolute worst. You would see them dirty, exhausted, tired, hungry and without makeup.

On the inside, you would know their personality inside-out: their talents, their weaknesses, their fears, their passions, their strange behaviours and all of their secrets (secrets may not have even existed).

Having lived around this person for years, women would know how any individual man behaved around women. If someone had sociopathic tendencies and often treated others badly, the whole tribe would likely be aware of it. There would be no hiding who you are.

Men and women would need each other. And when I say need, I mean it. After all, without the men, women and their children would have likely starved to death. And without the women, men would have had to stay with the children, preventing them from hunting animals; this too would have resulted in starvation and death.

Men and women would need each other for survival, tightening their bond even closer.

So that’s what the “dating scene” probably would have looked like in the tribal environment that our brains are evolved for.

Now then, what does the dating scene look like in the 21st century?

Dating In The Modern World – The Marketing of human-beings

Most of us live in cities alongside millions of complete strangers. Just take a look at the population sizes of some major cities:

• New York: 8.9million

• Sydney: 5.2million

• Tokyo: 13.9million

• Beijing: 22 million

Who are all these people? Can you even imagine this many people?

Even if you happen to live in a small town, you can still expect to be surrounded by 50,000-100,000 strangers. Every single day, we’re interacting with people who are complete strangers to us.

When we go on dates in the modern world, it’s often the case that we know very little about our date; this something that would have been very unusual for our ancestors and something that’s generally unnatural for human beings.

So, if we know absolutely nothing about the people around us, how can we possibly choose who to go on a date with and who not to? We can look at their marketing.

What do I mean by “marketing”? Marketing consists of: Hairstyles, fashion sense, shoes, makeup, high-heels, which car you drive, which brand of phone you use and the shape of your body.

It also means: Who your friends are, how confident you appear to be and which bars you hang out at.

All of these things have one thing in common: they’re incredibly superficial! Today, we base our dating choices on these shallow indicators that give us barely any real information about our dating prospect.

Women often use these shallow indicators to try to judge what type of man they’re dealing with, and time and time again, they get it completely wrong. The guy they thought was going to be their ideal boyfriend turned out to be a narcissistic asshole. The guy they thought was going to be good in bed, was downright awful. The guy they thought was wealthy, was actually dirt-poor.

Men usually use shallow indicators to judge women too. The sexy girl they thought would be exciting in bed, was boring and disappointing. The girl who seemed to be a “perfect angel” on the surface, was actually a lying and manipulative bitch. The girl who said that she was into video games, actually wasn’t.

All of these bad choices, all of these misjudgements and all of these disappointments would be completely avoided if we simply knew the people we were dating beforehand. (Just as we did in our natural, hunter-gatherer environments).

Women don’t date men with genuinely interesting personalities, they date men who can give the impression of having an interesting personality (wearing unique, stylish clothes, for example).

Women don’t date the most talented men, they date the men who are able to give the impression of being the most talented. For example, a man with average musical abilities is able to impress girls more than a true musical genius as long as he effectively markets himself as a musician (wearing stylish clothes, smoking cigarettes, talking about music often etc).

As if the indicators we used to judge potential romantic partners weren’t already shallow enough, we now have dating apps. We now make judgements on others based on still photos (people paused in time), and a few lines of text.

On dating apps, a successful dating profile can be created by:

• Renting a Ferarri for an hour, standing in front of it like you own it and snapping a photo.

• Using photo-retouching apps like Facetune to make yourself look 10 years younger and 40kg slimmer than you actually are.

• Copy and pasting entertaining profile text from the internet and using it as your own.

To put it simply, dating apps have even further increased the effectiveness of marketing techniques and reduced the importance of real qualities.

The truth is, it’s only after spending considerable amounts of time with another person that we can begin to understand who they truly are. In the modern dating scene, we have to go through the process of getting to know new partners (beyond their outward marketing) over and over again.

And it’s this process of disappointments, lies, ghosting, putting on make-up for dates, being judged on your choice of shoes, approaching girls and facing endless rejection that really gets people frustrated and depressed.

Yet in the hunter-gatherer environment, this painful process was completely bypassed, as we knew everyone already!

Incredible, talented, good-willed people who are unskilled at marketing (or hold ethical objections to doing so) will absolutely fail in the modern dating scene. Whereas they would have likely been successful in the hunter-gatherer environment.

Lying, manipulating, cold-hearted people who are skilled at marketing themselves will absolutely crush it in the modern dating scene. Whereas, they would have likely been unsuccessful in the hunter-gatherer environment (as everyone would have known of their poor character)

While it’s certainly true that “marketing” during the mating process does happen in the animal kingdom (think of the peacock displaying his feathers), this is the showcasing of true genetically advantageous traits (healthy genes, strength etc), which is different from the artificial marketing human-beings are capable of (wearing makeup, wearing fashionable shoes etc).

The Strange Task Of Approaching Women

In the modern dating scene, men are often forced (usually men) to romantically approach girls they’ve never spoken to before and know almost nothing about. A very strange, confusing task for the male human whose brain was not evolved to deal with this situation.

The reason men often get so nervous when approaching a new girl is because their brain believes it to be a dangerous task. After all, in our hunter-gatherer environment, attempting to flirt with a strange girl from a neighbouring tribe was a dangerous task, and doing so could lead to her partner smashing you over the head with a rock.

Despite the fact that no such danger exists today, the male brain still acts as though it’s in the old environment, and so produces adrenaline when approaching the cute girl from across the bar in preparation for what it thinks could be a possible fight to the death with an opposing tribe member who thinks you’re trying to steal their girl.

Celebrities – The Artificial Male Status Hierarchy

Let’s take Justin Bieber as a case study.

Do you think that Justin Bieber would be the leader of a tribe during the hunter-gatherer period?

Are his physical attributes enough to deal with the threats of dangerous predatory animals? Does he have the charisma needed to inspire and lead the tribe in the right direction in the ruthless natural environment?

I think we all know the answer is: No.

And yet Justin Bieber has millions of female admirers. For all intents and purposes, Justin Bieber is at the top of the male status hierarchy. If not for his physical strength, is it because of his talents? His charisma? No. It’s because he has the best marketing.

His marketing team are the ones who write the lyrics for his songs. They control what he does and doesn’t say during television interviews. And they control how he comes across to the public. In a strange modern environment filled with millions of strangers who have never met him before, they’re able to use the power of marketing to push him to the top of the male-status hierarchy in the minds of millions of young girls around the world.

These young girls will often buy posters of him and stick him on their bedroom wall, fantasising about him on a daily basis, despite the fact that they’ve actually never met him in reality before.

Many young women base their standards and ideals for men on celebrities they’ve never had face-to-face contact with.

Men instinctively get angry and frustrated at the idea of Justin Bieber getting all of the chicks, because their caveman brains don’t believe that he deserves to be at the top of the male-status hierarchy. The caveman brain says: he’s not strong and he’s not a charismatic leader. So why is he being treated as though he’s the leader of the tribe?!.

Let’s get back to the point.

The ultimate reason for the increasing dissatisfaction with the modern dating scene is that we’re dating in an environment that we’re not biologically evolved for. Approaching strangers of the opposite sex feels weird. And we’re forced too make judgements of the opposite sex based on shallow criteria that can be manipulated by those who are good at marketing themselves.

How can we as individuals succeed in this strange, modern dating environment?

How To succeed in the modern dating environment

What follows is a no-nonsense guide for how to be successful in the modern dating environment. You may not like the advice given (I don’t even like it), but I do believe it to be the truth.

Follow these steps, and I guarantee you will succeed in the modern dating environment.

(PS. The advice below will you help you get a large number of dates. It won’t necessarily help you find a meaningful relationship).

For Men:

Become a guy.

Who are you?

Are you the musician guy? With long hair, a long beard holding an acoustic guitar on the beach?

Are you the bad-boy guy? Wearing a black leather jacket, covered in tats smoking a cigarette?

Are you the business guy? Wearing suits, ties and leather shoes with a slick, smooth haircut?

In a world where marketing is king, even in dating, you need a brand. Just like a product, you need a niche to cut through the noise in the marketplace. The closer you resemble a stereotype, the more attention you’ll get from women.

Not all women mind you. If you choose the bad-boy guy as your brand, 80% of women will be completely turned off. The remaining 20%? They’ll be dying to spend time with you.

If you commit completely to the brand, your target customers (girls who like bad-boys) will line up to buy your product.

And remember, be sure to keep your brand consistent across all social media platforms, as well as in real life.

Women love to tell their friends “he’s a rebel”, or “he’s a doctor”, or “he’s a businessman”.

So improve your marketing. Become a guy.

Quick note: Older women with some experience will probably see through your brand image rather quickly.

For Women:

Be good-looking.

In the modern dating environment, there is nothing more important than your outer appearance for women. In a world where marketing is everything, your outer packaging has to be enticing.

Most of the men you’re surrounded with know absolutely nothing about your personality, your likes or dislikes, or what you’re passionate about. They will base their decision on whether to ask you out entirely on your level of outward attractiveness.

Use every possible technique at your disposal to artificially improve your outward appearance: Facial make-up, body make-up, high heels, push up bras, fake tan and plastic surgery. And on your social media profiles, use beauty filters and photo-retouching technology to make your body slimmer and more curvaceous, as well as making your eyes whiter, nose slimmer and forehead lower.

Remember, you are competing with the other products people, so your marketing needs to be better than your competition.

Men are idiots, and will be highly attracted to your beauty. Even if it’s highly artificial beauty.

It’s a strange new world of dating we live in. Follow this advice and your dating success is guaranteed to skyrocket. As for the quality of your relationships? Probably not.